The Illusion of Control in Career Growth
Published on 14.12.2025
On unlearning the myth of total control
TLDR: The belief that success is a direct result of effort is a seductive but dangerous myth that leads to burnout. True career growth comes from understanding that success is a combination of both skill and context, and acknowledging the role of luck can soften failure and lead to healthier ambition.
Summary: The author reflects on the post-burnout realization that attributing success solely to individual effort is a fallacy. This mindset, while seemingly empowering, creates an unsustainable pressure to constantly push harder, internalizing both successes and failures as purely personal metrics. This perspective ignores the significant role of context, such as market shifts, team dynamics, and serendipitous connections. For instance, getting a foot in the door for a job through a personal contact is not a sign of a "working strategy" to be replicated, but a fortunate event that should be acknowledged as such.
For an architect or a team lead, this is a crucial lesson in evaluating both their own and their team's performance. When you over-attribute success to skill, you create a culture where setbacks are seen as personal failings rather than opportunities to analyze the surrounding context. This can lead to a team that is afraid to take risks and is more likely to burn out. Instead, fostering an environment where context and luck are acknowledged can lead to more resilient and adaptable teams. It encourages a more discerning approach to effort, focusing on high-impact activities rather than just "working harder".
The author’s journey from a Director of Engineering to a Senior Engineering Manager at a larger company illustrates this point perfectly. While on paper it might look like a step back, the reality was a larger scope and greater impact. This highlights the flaw in using titles as a proxy for worth and progress. The context of the role and the organization are far more important than the title itself. This is a vital reminder for anyone in a leadership position to look beyond titles and evaluate the actual impact and growth of their team members.
Ultimately, letting go of the myth of total control doesn't mean becoming passive or less ambitious. It means becoming more discerning, more realistic, and more resilient. It allows for a healthier relationship with ambition, one that isn't burdened by the impossible weight of controlling every outcome. It's about preparing, choosing, and acting, while accepting that not all results are within our power to engineer. This shift can lead to a more sustainable and fulfilling career, for individuals and for the teams they lead.
Key takeaways:
- Success is a product of both skill and context; over-attributing it to effort leads to burnout.
- Acknowledging the role of luck and external factors can soften the blow of failure and prevent it from becoming a referendum on self-worth.
- Career progress is not always linear, and titles can be misleading indicators of impact and growth.
- A healthier ambition focuses on discerning when conditions are right and making thoughtful decisions, rather than relentlessly grinding.
Tradeoffs:
- Gain a more realistic and sustainable approach to career growth, but sacrifice the empowering (though illusory) feeling of being in complete control of one's destiny.
- Adopting this mindset means you are less likely to burn out, at the cost of potentially feeling less in control of your career trajectory in the short term.